Visual summary of “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg

The following is a description of the text contained by the visual summary.

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION by Marshall Rosenberg

(Summary by Joy Ming)

The 4-part Nonviolent Communication Process

Clearly and honestly expressing HOW I AM without blaming or criticizing / Empathetically receiving HOW YOU ARE without hearing blame or criticism

(1) OBSERVATIONS

What you SEE, HEAR, REMEMBER, IMAGINE (free from any evaluation) that does or does not contribute to your well being

→ Focus on specific behaviors from your own perspective

(2) FEELINGS

How you feel (emotion, not thought) in relation to what you observe

→ Distinguish between what we feel and who we think we are and how we thinking others react and behave towards us. What others say and do may be the stimulus but never the cause of our feelings. The cause is what we choose to receive what others say or do and our particular needs and expectations at that moment. Expressing our vulnerability might help resolve conflicts.

(3) NEEDS

What you need/value (not a preference or specific action) that contributes to your feeling

→ If we don’t understand and value our needs, others might not either

Clearly requesting what would enrich my life without demanding / Empathetically receiving what would enrich your life without hearing demands

(4) REQUESTS

Concrete actions you would like to be taken

→ Use positive action language — clear, concrete to reveal what we really want.

No matter what others say, we only hear what they are (1) observing (2) feeling (3) needing (4) requesting.

→ Listen with your whole being

→ Empathy lies with our ability to be present

SELF

judgements, like all judgements are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

DON’T DO ANYTHING THAT ISN’T PLAY

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves. We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life, rather than out of fear, shame, or obligation.

ANGER

1. Stop, breathe
2. Identify judgmental thoughts
3. Connect with our needs
4. Express our feelings & unmet needs

APPRECIATION

1. Actions that have contributed to our well-being
2. Particular needs of ours that have been fulfilled
3. Pleasureful feelings engendered by the fulfillment of those needs